Are you currently "estranged" from church? Are you mad at people or situations at your old church, and has this been keeping you in bed on Sunday morning?

Perhaps you'd like to go back, but you're worried about what people will say. Awhile ago, the Rejected Disciple was feeling the same way, but he thought he'd give his old church one more try.

Here are some excerpts describing what he found:

This morning (Sunday) I just had to go to church. Had to. Keep in mind I haven't been to church in a very, very long time. I had the excuse that I worked on Sundays (even though it was later in the afternoon and I could have gone, but see, I have a "routine" I have to follow on workdays, and, well, you know…) but now I have Sundays off. My schedule has been like that for almost a couple of months, but I still didn't go. But today, I had to. Not because of any crisis, at least none that are obvious to me or anyone else, but I'm a part of the body of Christ, and maybe I was feeling the disconnect and the fact that it just wasn't right. It just wasn't the way things should be.

Not only did I have to go to church today, I had to go to MY church. I had to go to the church where I have my membership, Yale Avenue Christian Church. Never mind that things happened there that have, shall I say, disappointed me. Never mind that I've moved theologically to the left of where Yale Avenue is (since it has the rep as being the most conservative DIsciples of Christ church in the city of Tulsa.) Never mind that I was really apprehensive about going, and thinking about attending somewhere else and possibly transferring my membership. That was where I needed to be today.

. . .

I fully expected to make a appearance, decide that this church wasn't for me anymore, and to start making plans for finding another church. I didn't expect to feel like I was back home. I didn't expect to feel that Yale Avenue was still the place for me. But, damn it, I did. Now, I could over-analyze the whole experience, chalk it up to an emotional reaction, realize that my welcome after having been gone so long was more extravagent than it will be after I've been there for a month or two. But I know how I felt when I was there. I was home.

. . .

The people of the congregation welcomed me with open arms; with hugs, handshakes, and smiles. It's almost like I never left. Well, scratch that, it is like I left and came back, which is what I did. Again, they might not be as excited after seeing me Sunday after Sunday. But now some might even be stirred to pray for me once they've seen me. I especially enjoyed talking to people who were in the praise band when I was leading it and were still in it, like the kid who plays bass, who began when he was about 15 or so and now is in his first year of college. I was happy to hear that he leads the youth praise band now. Or the young married woman who just had her first child. And, of course, there were others, both in the praise band and without. They remember me.

Now I know why I had to go. I'm still not 100% sure I will keep going there. But there's a much better chance now that I did go back and was surprised to find that I was part of a family that I hadn't seen for months and months. It was easy while I was away to think that I never wanted to go back there. Now God threw a wrench into the works and it has started me thinking. Thinking that maybe my church home is the best place to be for now.

I hope that you have a place in a church that feels like home. The Bride, though imperfect and, sometimes, maddening, is still very beautiful.

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

– Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)

How do you treat your pastor? I have pastor friends that are hurting, deeply. They are being wounded by the people that they selflessly serve. I don't understand.

So, how do you treat your pastor? How do I treat mine?

I admit that I usually take the pastors in my church for granted. Shame on me.

The fact of the matter is that, of course, most people in our churches are good people, and they treat their pastor(s) just fine. But the church has both wheat and weeds in it, just like Jesus told us. It is often hard for us, with our undiscerning eyes, to tell the difference between them. And sometimes we miss the vicious attacks right before our eyes because, frankly, we just can't believe anyone would act that way.

I think the biggest sin most of us commit is a sin of omission. When those who shepherd us come under attack by people who are motivated by hatred, desire for "power" (which often amounts, pathetically, to just being a big fish in an ever-shrinking pond), and the perverse thrills of gossip and slander, we often just sit by, waiting for it to "all blow over".

But things don't "blow over". They blow up if they aren't taken care of.

Pastors are imperfect, sinful people, just like you and me. And they need discipline and even correction and rebuke as much as anyone else does. But if you knew the pressures that many of them are under, and the pressures that their wives and kids are under . . . It is crushing. They need us to hold them up, to pray for them, to lift their weary arms.

They need us to treat them how we would like to be treated if the tables were turned.

I was reading this passage a day or two ago, and it's very appropriate:

The wicked watches for the righteous
and seeks to put him to death.
The Lord will not abandon him to his power
or let him be condemned when he is brought to trial.

Wait for the Lord and keep his way,
and he will exalt you to inherit the land;
you will look on when the wicked are cut off.

I have seen a wicked, ruthless man,
spreading himself like a green laurel tree.
But he passed away, and behold, he was no more;
though I sought him, he could not be found.

Mark the blameless and behold the upright,
for there is a future for the man of peace.
But transgressors shall be altogether destroyed;
the future of the wicked shall be cut off.

The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;
he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.
The Lord helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

– Psalm 37:32-40 (ESV)

Oh yeah.

So, how do you treat your pastor? How do I? I believe in the end God will take care of things, and justice will flow like a river. But in the meantime may he empower us to become springs of blessing for those who lead us. May we be a source of blessing, not cursing, to those over us.

We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.

– 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 (ESV)

Jared has written his 30 Theses (Give or Take): A Ramblin’ Rant in Helpful Bullet Point Format. Here are the first eight – but you have to go read them all:

1. Discipleship is designed to be experienced in community. God saves individuals, but He does not save them to an individual faith but to a kingdom life populated with other citizens who share that faith.

2. The Bible designates one vessel to hold this kingdom community, and it is The Church. You might fraternize with other believers in coffee shops, informal communes, online chat rooms or forums, blogs, bars, or the big outdoors, but only biblical churches satisfy the discipleship need for The Church.

3. Honest Christians will differ on what constitutes a “biblical church,” and while disagreement is understandable and okay, beware of any church that says, explicitly or implicitly, “we do it right” or “we do it better” than the church down the street.

4. Ecclesiological one-upmanship (“My church is better than your church”) is a sin.

5. The reason you should not give up on church or The Church is because Jesus did not give up on you. And if He calls the church His Body, giving up on it means giving up on Him.

6. There are no perfect churches, especially if they have people in them.

7. Expecting a church to “fit” you or to always be comfortable or catering to your needs is arrogance and foolishness.

8. You can pick your friends and you can pick your church, but as in all families, you don’t get to pick who’s in The Body. Only God can do that. And when you decide certain people (or certain churches) are not worthy of your presence, ask yourself if you are worthy of God’s. (Hint: You’re not. But he came into your life anyway.)

That, my friends, is good stuff.

Now, what are you waiting for? There are 24 more to go. Get readin’!

Well, it’s official. My Thinklings bro and budding novelist Jared is now also on the short list to become a church elder at Bellevue Community Church.

I don’t know if Jared will end up being on the elder board. I know that he is exploring that possibility with humility and prayer.

He’s also one of the that I know. Read his stuff – it’s good.

Recently Blest wrote a post called Stoning the Bride. She’s speaking my language. Amen x a million:

I’m not saying there isn’t anything wrong with the Christian church. And perhaps God has called someone to be like Jeremiah, prophetically called to denounce the sins of the many. But I don’t think as many people have been called to denounce as enjoy doing the denouncing. After all, it’s a lot more fun to feel like a rebel and a sage while you point out someone else’s sins. Why spend time staring in the mirror working on my own sins when I can think on the sins of the church? But honestly, we don’t need more polished and piercing posts on what’s wrong with the church. We don’t need songs like Todd Agnew’s My Jesus, with its self-righteous “My Jesus wouldn’t be welcome at my church”.

We can denounce the group to our heart’s content, but the solutions have to come at the individual level. What would happen if each Christian stopped looking for the sins of the establishment, and simply worked on rooting out their own sins? What if each church member worked to the best of their abilities to be what they think a good church member should be? I have to take my own advice and ask myself – Am I doing all I can in the church? Do I pray for my leadership? Do I participate in small groups? Am I committed to reaching out to unbelievers and in to my church family? Because that’s what the church is, you see. A family. God placed us in a family with a vast array of brothers and sisters. And the beauty of it is that these new siblings are not always ones we would have chosen for ourselves.

Amen times a trillion.

My wife was telling me tonight about some negative comments some Christians we know were making about some decisions our church recently made. After hearing it I thought, “Fine. I’m not going to listen to these comments anymore”. I even asked Jill to be a filter for me. I don’t need to hear this stuff.

I’m done. The Christian blogosphere is, at times, one long torrent of slander against the church. But I’m not part of that club.

I know the church isn’t perfect. I know that it needs reform. But in my opinion, less than 10% of the criticism in the blogosphere or by churchmembers is either warranted or given in a spirit of humility or a desire to actually make the church better. Most of it’s just talking to talk. Some of it is hugely destructive.

I’m done with that. If you want my opinion, here it is: The Bride is Beautiful. Not perfect. But being perfected. If you want to make the Bride better, look at yourself first. Examine your motives. Compare the obedience you desire of the church to your own obedience to God. Compare the boldness you desire from church leaders to your own boldness. Compare the faithfulness to Scripture that you desire of the church to your own faithfulness. Learn church history. Learn how to separate essentials from non-essentials. And learn to take concerns, in person and in private, to those who need to hear them.

Anyone can write a post.

For some more good reading on a related topic, check out this post from Jared: Trusting God for the Sanctification of Others.

It’s not just that we should respect our brothers and sisters in Christ enough to assume they are capable, it’s that we ought to trust the Holy Spirit with these folks’ sanctification, just like we trust Him with ours. Not that we don’t get all discerning up in their grill (provided it’s real discernment). Not that we don’t rebuke or correct or criticize or even contend when all those things are really called for. But that we do not condemn as if we know God’s gameplan for people outside our own box of discernment.

Dismissal is not one of the fruits of the Spirit. But patience is. People are going to screw up, and they’re going to have some screwy ideas. We can help them, no doubt. But let’s trust that God knows how to finish the good work He began in believers we think aren’t as far along as we are. He will certainly be better at working their perseverance than we are.