This will be a bit stream of consciousness: I’m privileged often to lead Bible discussions,  teach the scriptures,  and even mentor others to do so. This is such a blessing to me,  and I also believe,  based on interactions with others and also that inner “when I run I feel His pleasure” sense,  that God has equipped and gifted me to do this.

But I never shake that underlying low-voltage feeling of micro-panic when I’m preparing, and right beforehand. Once the Bible gets opened I normally stabilize. Sometimes,  in my best moments,  half of me is sitting outside myself,  in the circle,  being taught by God right then.

I go through seasons when I feel some self-condemnation in my teaching.  It’s hard to explain.  I taught recently and went home defeated because while I was teaching I felt really good but when I got in my car to go home I was blasted with the conviction that I had entirely missed the point of what I was teaching. I had missed Jesus,  which means those in the discussion circle did too.

I’m blessed and privileged to be leading this next Tuesday at an on-campus Christian club at our nearby community college. It’s so amazing how that’s even happened.

I’m praying God will prepare me because at this point I don’t have the first idea what scripture I will lead from. May he be glorified,  not me.  And may I give them Jesus and not miss him myself.