Gain your brother

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

– Matthew 18:15

This is such great wisdom from our Lord.

Yet it’s hard wisdom. It’s so much easier to go to the sympathetic ear and knowing nod of a compassionate (and biased in your direction) friend then to go to the one who has offended you.

But look at the payoff of the more difficult route! “You have gained your brother”, and pleased the Lord as well!

There is so much destruction hatched in whispered conversations in hallways, in vent-sessions over coffee, in partially-veiled blog posts, in the flaming “press-send-before-I-change-my-mind” email. And there is so much resentment and bitterness brewing (a bitter stew that!) in the hearts of those of us who have gone the other way and left all the necessary words unsaid.

Go to your brother. Be reconciled. Gain each other! This is the wisdom of our Lord, and it is very good.

“Having resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die” — Malachy McCourt

(thanks to the Anchoress for this quote).

The iMonk eats some crow

Willingly.

I found this very inspiring. And not so much because of the controversy that is the subject matter of the post, though I’m pretty sure I agree, limited as my understanding is on the subject, with every word Michael says here.

It’s more than that. I am consistently inspired by people who are willing to publicly admit they may have said or written something unfair in the past, and who are publicly willing to affirm ones that others are trashing, and who write with such generosity and grace (and skill).